


Wide Open Spaces

by literallymelchior



Category: Frühlings Erwachen | Spring Awakening - Frank Wedekind, Spring Awakening - Sheik/Sater
Genre: M/M, SO GAY, Sad, im so sorry for this, its so bittersweet and the ending is just so, like no thanks, so pure, what was i even thinking when i wrote this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-06-06 12:08:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15194456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/literallymelchior/pseuds/literallymelchior
Summary: based on the song "The Light (Part II) by Mason Jennings!this is like one of saddest things ive written, im so sorry!!! but i really hope you enjoy! leave kudos and/or a comment!! love you guys lots!





	Wide Open Spaces

_ And regardless in the evening _ __   
_ Light is thrown by the setting sun _ __   
_ Speeds along this vast familiar _ _   
_ __ And silently crosses everyone

Hanschen was leaving.

Ernst didn’t know if he could bear to say goodbye, to hold him one last time. He would never hear his laughter again or be able to run his hands through Hanschen’s hair. He would never see his eyes shining in the colors of the sunset.

Even when they both first started dating, Ernst fell in love with the way that Hanschen looked at the stars, as if he was afraid of their light.

_ Why are you so afraid of the stars, Hanschen? _

_ Their beauty can draw you in, but it can crush you as well. I have yearned to draw a star closer to me, to reel it in on a string. But what scares me is the distance between me and the stars, that something I can love so deeply is so far away. _

_ Across the gardens, across the schoolyards _

_ Across the chapels where lovers have leapt _

_ Across the table in our old kitchen _

_ Across the cities where our future slept _

Hanschen was constantly reinstating the familiar. 

Even in their darkest moments, where Ernst felt like they could never be able to fix each other again. Hanschen was always giving him chances. Always giving him the kind of love he’s always needed ever since he was thirteen when all he wanted was for someone to hold him, so he could finally have someone to look up to for the first time in his life.

Ernst would come calling, and Hanschen would listen.

But no one cared. Hanschen wasn't bothered, because he carried himself and his sexuality loud and proud, and all the bible thumpers and the bullies didn't even turn their heads or cross him.

But Ernst, of course, was always a different story.

He would be thrown aside and cast out, his reputation whittled to dirt. Ernst wasn’t the type of person to lash out or get revenge; he simply stopped caring. Not about what people said or what they thought about him, how he would grace the school hallways with a smile and a little pep in his step. 

There was a small coil of joy that rested in Ernst's heart, and it was all because of Hanschen.

_ What can I do to deny you _ __   
_ 'cause I want no part of this breaking _ __   
_ This is a hurtful mistake you are making _ __   
_ And to me this love was true and shining _ _   
_ __ These years were real and defining

When Hanchen met Ernst, he felt redefined. Scrubbed clean and rubbed raw by the gaze in his eyes, that seemed to strip his walls around his heart and leave him bare and shivering.

He was never any good at saying goodbye. Especially saying goodbye to the boy he fell in love with every day.

He tried. He tried to write letters, to write a song, to just simply get the words out of his mouth, but he simply  _ couldn’t.  _ He couldn't take his eyes off him. He didn’t want to get the last word, because what would that mean? 

He might never see Ernst again.

In another world, maybe, he wouldn’t be leaving. Maybe, just  _ maybe,  _ they would see each other again. He would be able to hold Ernst in his arms forever, until they were just skeletons, their bones revealing the love they had for each other, and their souls intertwined above the earth.

But it was never like that. It could never be like that, because he was leaving. Gone, out of his family’s life, out of his friends’ lives. Out of Ernst’s life. 

But he could never say goodbye. And that was the scariest part.

_ Please don't forget how much I meant to you _

_ When you are redefined by someone new _ __   
_ Across what's left of these old places _ __   
_ Across the playgrounds where old friends play _ __   
_ Across the lines on familiar faces _ _   
_ __ Across the nothing that we say

Ernst almost didn’t get to say goodbye when Hanschen left.

Ernst saw him the night before while he was studying in the vineyard. It wasn’t summer just yet; the grass seemed to twinkle up at him with the promise of dewfall, and the flowers were just starting to blossom and bloom in the trees. 

But there was Hanschen. 

_ “The dewfall it-it has always promised new beginnings for me. New opportunities. But Ernst, I will always care for you. I will always think of us, in this vineyard, with the sky twinkling above us. And I will never forget you.” _

Ernst never got to say his last words. But they never needed to say anything, They just held each other, in that moment, right there.

But then the train whistled as if it was beckoning Hanschen. And he got on that train and left Ernst’s life so suddenly that he was left reeling, blinking out tears from his eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> based on the song "The Light (Part II) by Mason Jennings!
> 
> this is like one of saddest things ive written, im so sorry!!! but i really hope you enjoy! leave kudos and/or a comment!! love you guys lots!


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